


Hopeless

by Saira



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:01:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21736483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saira/pseuds/Saira
Summary: That time Oliver Wood fell in love with a girl that hated Quidditch...
Relationships: Oliver Wood/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 18





	1. Ugh.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story in English, so please consider that while reading. If you find any mistakes, feel free to tell me. I'm always eager to learn and get better! I hope you enjoy!

She rolled her eyes. He was such an idiot. He lived inside his bubble not even trying to be aware that there were other things than what’s important to him. Other people that are not all obsessed with the same things as him. That thought that Quidditch maybe was most definitely not the most important things in life, maybe not even at Hogwarts. But yet again, he lived in his bubble. Not aware of any of that, and she found that exhaustively annoying.

“Why does he annoy you so much?”

It was her best friend, sitting, yet again, on the wrong table right next to her. But people didn’t bother, not at Hufflepuff. Everyone is welcome here, even someone with a green tie. His left eyebrow was pulled up, as were the corners of his mouth. Like always when he was questioning her about something at least he found amusing. Seeing her annoyed proofed to be very entertaining for him.

His small black eyes looked at her with that spark in it that he always had, when he was mocking her a bit. He was good looking, with his light brown hair that seemed to always stay exactly where he wanted it, his light skin that was always spotless and the straight nose that fitted perfectly in his face. She already heard a lot of girls talking about his small but straight lips, now curled into a light smile. But all that meant nothing to her. They knew each other since they could think so all she saw in him was sort of a brother.

“Because”, now she looked even more annoyed. Putting a finger between the pages, she closed the book she was reading and turned to him. It was clear that he tried not to smile to obviously. “I can hear his annoying voice as loud and clear all over here as if he sat right next to me.” His second eyebrow followed the first, not being able to conceal his smile anymore. “We are in the great hall. During lunchtime. And you are trying to tell me that you can hear this bloke on the other table? Are you sure you are not concentrating on him?”

He earned a slap with her book against his shoulder. But all she got from him was a chuckle and him holding his hands up to show her he would back off. To wind her up about the topic didn’t seem to be a safe idea at the moment, so he rather focused on his food again. To this, she just rolled her eyes yet again, which she seemed to do an awful lot lately. But it was most definitely not her fault that this guy was rather annoying since the fifth year started. She reopened her book, trying to find the row she left off, when she heard this idiot all over again. Her expression froze in pure annoyance.

She did not know what was different this year. He was in her classes since the first year. Always loud and irritating and constantly talking about his one and only love: Quidditch. But ever since this year started, ever since she saw him on the platform and later on in the train, she couldn’t stand his presence. Not his voice that suddenly sounded so different, lower and darker than before. Not the way he stood and gestured, him being a lot taller this year. And most definitely not his smug grin whenever he said something clever or he got a compliment. From a girl. Because of his damn Quidditch skills.

She rolled her eyes at the thought of it. Again.

“Hey Wood.” George pushed his elbow against his friends arm as he tried to get his attention, away from the tryouts this year. For a second, the Captain stopped and looked at his friend, but he only wiggled his eyebrows and tipped his head in a direction. He knew he shouldn’t do it, but before he could even think about it, he had already followed the direction and his eyes landed on the girl on the next table. She was looking straight at him. Her green eyes met his for a second, before she rolled them, something he saw a lot lately. She closed her book and in the next second she was already stomping in the direction of the door. Her best friend was taken by surprise as it seemed, cast a last sorrowful glance at his food, before running off after her.

Oliver Wood couldn’t help himself and followed her with his eyes. Watched her black, wavy hair flow with every step she took until he couldn’t see her anymore. As he released the breath he had been holding, the guys surrounding him started laughing. He didn’t even bother with it, he was already used to them making fun of him and then trying to help while being no help at all. “Well, at least there is something good about the fact that you annoyed her enough to leave.”, George grinned, and out of reflex, his head turned to Fred: “You can finally stop talking about the tryouts.”

“You don’t have to accompany me, you know.”, she said as they took the last few steps up to the tower, already hearing the noise coming from the owls. She had her hands in her pullover. It was getting colder outside, especially in the evening, and she told herself to wear a jacket next time. And with the cold, as every year, came the darkness that crept in sooner and sooner every day. But she didn’t bother. She was never bothered by darkness, there were far more terrifying things in the world, as she thought.

“It’s a bit late to say that, don’t you think?” She could hear the grin in his voice even without turning around and it put one on her face as well. They just arrived at the top of the tower where they both escaped to the middle of the room. At least the cold wind couldn’t reach them here. A black owl landed in front of them, on one of the many places for them to sit and closed its eyes, when she started to stroke its head. “Well, actually I just came, cause I need to tell you something.”

The Hufflepuff didn’t seem to be bothered by that sentence. She just carried on petting her owl and slowly getting out a package out of the pouch of her pullover, holding it up. The bird lifted itself from the branch it was sitting on, flew around the tower before carefully picking up the package and flying out of the window. It wasn’t until then that she realized that her friend didn’t keep on talking, so she turned to him, a question mark on her face.

She watched him shift a little, suddenly quite obvious he didn’t know how to tell her the news. He was happy about it, quite excited, to be honest, but also afraid of what she would think about it. She watched him a few moments more, letting him work through his nervous thoughts. She knew it was no use to pressure him into talking. He stepped from one foot on the other, mostly because it was cold, but it seemed to calm him down a bit as well. He took one last deep breath in, met her eyes and blurted it out: “I’m trying for the quidditch team.”

For a second, she felt like he hit her in the face. She just stared at him blankly, not knowing what to say. Not knowing what to feel or what to say, so she just stayed quiet. Tried to calm her thoughts, the memories, the feelings, the worry. All of it. And suddenly, she couldn’t stand to look at him anymore. “Why?”, was all she could bring herself to say, mumbling it more to the floor than anything, but he heard her.

He shrugged, more to buy him time than to think about how to express himself without upsetting her even more. And then he felt her eyes on him again and he met hers and he couldn’t be anything but honest: “Because, honestly, I always wanted to try it, but I never” - “You never said or did, because of me.”, she finished the sentence before he could and there went a second, before he finally nodded. Scared of how she might react.

Now it was her turn to take a deep breath. “When?”

For a second he looked confused.

“The tryouts.”

A smile creeped up on his face. “As if you don’t already know.” She sent him a glare, but his grin just got wider. She rolled her eyes, putting her hands in the pouch of her pullover again. “I know the date and the time of the Gryffindor tryouts and only because this idiot keeps babbling on about it. You’re not a Gryffindor.”

He looked at his green and black scarf and his smile vanished a bit. “Same day, but in the morning.” His gaze fell on her, face still, not showing much. But he knew better.

“I’ll be there.” She paused for a second, seeing the glow in his face growing and she knew she did the right thing, even if it felt like hell for her. “But, by Merlins beard, if you start talking about it as much as he does, I’m going to kill you.” The grin on his face grew even bigger as she left him in the tower and made her way back down.

In the Gryffindor common room Oliver Wood let his head fall on the book in front of him.

“Problem?”, Percy asked, sitting across the table, book and paper in front of him as well. “Yeah, but not the homework.”, one of the twins remarked from the couch, followed by laughter. He didn’t tell anyone about it, he didn’t even realize what happened while it happened. But he didn’t need to, the twins figured it out faster than he did himself. And with that, basically whole Gryffindor knew.

It was only the first or second week of the new year when they caught him staring at her, more often than not, to be exact. And sometimes they even saw him grin stupidly when she didn’t notice him staring.

Oliver himself didn’t even know what changed, but something did over the summer. And when he saw her in the first potion class, he felt like he saw her for the first time. Saw her for real, saw how beautiful she was and how her eyes were full of spark while carefully stirring the potion. And how her smile seemed to make even Snape's lesson more bearable. He lifted his head and dropped it back on the book, as a sort of punishment for thinking about it again. Thinking about her again. Laughter around him again.

Angelina watched him, shaking her head, but with a slight smile on her face. She thought it was cute how desperate he was, not really knowing what to do about it. He was always good with girls, but this time he was a little helpless. “Why don’t you talk to her? Maybe ask her to go to Hogsmeade together.”, she grabbed a pillow from the couch, putting it in front of her and hugging it. Remembering how romantic Hogsmeade could be during the colder months, even in fall. The trees in beautiful colors and already a little cold, the best excuse to get closer.

“Talk to her?”, George said right next to her, grinning from both ears. “He can’t even say Good Morning.”, Fred added to it, having the exact same grin on his face. Oliver remembered vividly a morning two weeks ago, when he ran into her on his way to the Great Hall. He just wanted to greet her, but all he brought out was “Quidditch”, to which she just rolled her eyes and squeezed past him, not even giving him any further attention. It was hopeless. The situation was hopeless. He was hopeless.

“Maybe you should rather focus on the task at hand.”, Percy suggested, but all he got from his best friend was a groan. They were doing homework for Herbology on Shrivelfig, the first homework this year. But he was already way to distracted, all he could do was think about her in class, already knowing exactly what it was.

_“The Shrivelfig is a magical plant, the best specimens of which are found in Abyssinia. They grow inside the fruit, both of them purple. It’s delicious and the leaves have medicinal properties. The blossoms inside produces a purple liquid which has potion-making properties.”_

He heard her voice as clear as in the classroom a few days ago, earning Hufflepuff a few points. And suddenly he sat upright in his seat, grabbing the feather in front of him and starting to write. He didn’t need to remember anything about the class itself, he just needed to remember everything about her in the class, which happened all by itself.


	2. Tryouts

“Jimin Bak, by all the love I have for you, would you  _ please  _ stop that.”

She tried to stay patient with him. It was early in the morning and in contrast to every other day, he didn’t even touch his food. Instead he tapped his foot as fast as he could, driving her crazy. The whole bench wobbled with it and while she really tried to stay awake, this was not the way she wanted to go about it. He stopped for a few seconds, getting out of his head and his worries for a moment, but then the tapping continued.

She put both her hands on the table and stood up. There was no use in staying here, where his thoughts would eat him up eventually, maybe even talk him into not going. And she did not crawl out of bed so early for him to give up before it even started. “Get up, we are going.” She didn’t even wait for him to respond, she just grabbed her stuff and went straight for the door. After a few seconds, she could hear him catch up with her. The cold air of the morning would help them both in one way or the other.

She didn’t know what she expected to see when arriving at the Quidditch grounds, but it was definitely not Flint and Wood staring each other down, both backed up by people from their houses. Her best friend gave her a look while arriving and stood with the other Slytherins, so she decided to keep away from all the trouble and stopped at the side of the field. She couldn’t hear them talking, but she wasn’t really keen on listening in on a fight about Quidditch anyway. 

Her eyes wandered up the tall towers and all the places where the spectators usually sat. A few people where already up there, probably doing the same as she was: supporting a friend. She grew a little smaller, getting an uneasy feeling in her stomach. That was definitely the last place she wanted to go. The noise of people starting to talk again brought her attention back to the people in front of her, the groups separating. They seemed to have resolved the issue. 

“Hey, you need to get off the field!”

It was Flint that said it. It caught her off guard. She knew she wasn’t supposed to be down here, but she hoped they would make an exception. But now that he said it, there was no mistake in it. She needed to leave, get all the way up there. “Did you not hear what I said?” He was walking towards her now, still pissed from the argument he just had, but she found herself frozen. Her eyes wandered to the people behind him, a flock of people in green, searching for her best friend, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Are you deaf? I said get off the field. You have no permission to be down here during tryouts.” He was in front of her now, staring her down. His face was cold and she could see how angry he really was. And even though she normally would be able to defend herself just fine, she felt the fear inside her creeping up and making her small. She was about to open her mouth, trying to tell him that she couldn’t, in no way possible, go up there, maybe even ask him for permission, as someone stepped next to them. 

“She’s with me.” 

Flints eyes flew over, face getting even more furious than before, his hand gripping his broom hard. But his opponent didn’t even seem to be impressed. Just looked at him, matter of factly, his eyebrow wandered up, waiting for a response. “Fine. Don’t blame me if she gets hurt.” And with that he was gone, storming off to his teammates. Where her best friend stood, looking sheepishly at her, an apologetic look on his face. 

Slowly, she looked over to the one who just saved her ass. She looked into his brown eyes, but only for a second, because as soon as they met, he looked away. Then turning completely, starting to walk and showing her with a hand wave that she needed to follow him. 

He knew that would happen. But he wanted to win this year, so he needed to be prepared. Now he stood there, arguing with Flint just how he figured it was going to go. But he had the upper hand, because he had calculated the likelihood of this debate and knew exactly what he had to say to get his way. And when Flint just growled at him and turned away, he knew he had won. 

As he turned himself, he froze for a second. There she stood, right at the side of the field, hugging her jacket closer, staring up at the towers, where the other spectators already sat. He heard someone shouting to her, but he didn’t really listen to what was said. Just stared at the Hufflepuff, fear written all over her face as she looked over. But not at him, but at the one coming straight for her now. His brain started working, trying to figure out what was happening at the moment, until it hit him. She must be here to watch her friend try for the team. And now Flint wanted her gone from the field. Up to the seats, so she wouldn’t be in the way. 

His eyes were still on her, getting smaller and smaller, collapsing in herself, panic in her green eyes. And he remembered. He saw her like that once already. In the first year, when Madame Hooch taught them how to fly. She stood just like that, getting even smaller than she was, broom in hand, not daring to sit on it. Just shaking her head at Madame Hooch, shaking her short black hair all around that was now so much longer, probably hoping the ground would open up and swallow her as a whole. He remembered the others laughing, pointing. “A witch afraid of heights is no real witch”, they said and the tears rose in her eyes. 

Flints voice hurled him out of his memories and right back to the Quidditch field. He saw him, walking right to her, probably still angry at having to share the field and a bad feeling creeped up inside of him and he started moving even before he realized he did. And he arrived even faster than he thought he would, not knowing what he was doing anyway. But his body seemed to know better, because before he knew it, he had already said it. 

The Slytherin backed up for the second time today and with that, Woods attention flew to the girl next to him, standing right there. Her eyes were still following the one who just threatened her and so he couldn’t help himself but to study her features from up close. Her long lashes that surrounded those eyes that he found so beautiful. The small nose that was already a little bit red from the cold. Those lips that looked to soft. But then she looked right at him and out of reflex, he looked away. Not really knowing what to say, slowly realising what he just did, he just turned away, started walking and gave her a sign to follow him, while his thoughts ran wild. 

He had no idea what he was thinking. Nothing, obviously, cause everytime he tried to think of something smart or at least normal to say to her, or even just around her, he messed up. But now he had not just said something right in front of her, that wasn’t about Quidditch, but he also made her follow him. He protected her and he could feel his heart make a little jump and his chest fill with pride. It felt good for a moment, until he realised he had no idea what to do now. 

“You picked someone up on the way?” It was the twins that awaited them at the other side of the field, big grins on their faces, but Wood only sent them a look and ignored them. Nothing he could say or do would stop them from stupid comments anyway. “Or are you trying to run from her?”, they said in unison and for a moment, the Captain was confused. Until he realised he must have made his way across the field way too fast. He turned around and there she was, trying to keep up but having trouble. His face flew back to the twins, this time it was his time to panic. He had no idea what to say or do. 

“Well, we know she hates Quidditch”, Fred started, putting a hand around his shoulder, George doing the same on the other side: “But you have to talk about it. That’s what we are here for today.” They both grinned at him mischievously, turned him around to face her and left right before she arrived. A few seconds, he was confused by the way the twins acted. But slowly his head seemed to process what they wanted to tell him. This was the first time it was appropriate for him to talk about Quidditch and only Quidditch, so there was really nothing that could go wrong. Well, not more wrong than usual at least. 

He took a last breath and gripped his broom a little tighter when she arrived. “You can sit right there.”, he pointed with his broom to a little bench in a nook. It was were the reserve usually sat, save from the cold wind but still a good place to watch the game, mostly safe enough as well. He looked at her for a second longer than he wanted to, lost himself in her emerald eyes. He could see she opened her mouth to say something, but when Angelina called for him, she closed it again, nodded and made her way to the bench he just showed her. He followed her with his eyes for a second longer, before he sighed, ran his hand through his hair and made his way to his colleagues. 

She didn’t hear what he was talking with the twins until she got closer and when she arrived, they were already gone. Her hands still fast around her middle, she stopped in front of Wood, looked up to him. And like everytime she was so close to him, she couldn’t help but think about how tall he got over the summer. She actually had to look up to him, which was really annoying. His brown eyes wandered around, almost seeming to avoid her, even when he told her where she could sit. And even though she still found him massively irritating, she also felt the need to thank him for helping her out right now. But before she could even try, he was already needed and so she decided she could always do it later and made her way over to the bench. 

Sitting down, she realised she was actually shielded from the cold wind. Her eyes wandered around. The Slytherin tryouts should start any minute now, but all she could see was a group of them, standing together, in front of them Flint, probably explaining something to them. She squinted her eyes together, trying to make her best friend out, but it wasn’t possible, they were too far away. Wood, on the other hand, was definitely not too far away for her to hear him. She could hear him talk, even though she had no idea were he actually was. But his deep voice with his stupid scottish accent were right there in her ear. Like always when he was near. 

And like always, he talked about Quidditch. It was the first time though, that it was actually in context. Not during class or during lunch or wherever they might run into each other. For the first time it wasn’t out of place. Well, for him it was obviously never out of place and she could feel her eyes roll on its own. What she didn’t realise was that the corner of her mouth tucked upwards as well. 

Half an hour later the Slytherins were in the air, her head getting all dizzy with just the thought of being so high up. And she was freezing. Even though the wind couldn’t reach her here, the cold creeped up to her and so she got smaller and smaller. She tried to concentrate on Jimin, followed him with her eyes, even though she had no idea what they were doing up there. She didn’t let him out of her sight anyway, just in case something happened. 

“Quaffel?”

Wood stood next to her, holding out a blanket and he could feel his face getting all hot even though five minutes earlier, he was complaining about the temperature himself. “I-I was talking to Angelina. Blanket?”, he lied, when he saw her puzzled face. Why could he only talk about Quidditch when he was near her? It didn’t even make any sense. Probably because it was one of the few things he was certain he had the knowledge about, at least that’s what he told himself. It seemed that it gave him security. 

To his relief, she didn’t question it, just nodded and took the blanket, her attention already wandering back to the players in the sky, searching for her best friend. He watched her curling up under the grey wool, pulling it tight around her, before he followed her gaze. It took him only a few seconds to see what was going on. “He’s doing well.”

His eyes landed on her again, watching how her face relaxed a bit and a little smile appeared on her face. It was good to know that Jimin did well, even though she didn’t know what to make of it. Wood didn’t even lie, if he kept this up, he would probably make the team. His heart started to go a little faster at the sight of her, made him feel proud yet again. He made her smile and that plastered a smile on his face as well. But it only lasted a few seconds, before the nervousness creeped up again. His thoughts started to go wild again, desperate to find anything to say, to start a real conversation, since she hadn’t said anything back to him yet. 

Her annoyed face appeared in front of him and for a second he doubted if he should stay or even try. She clearly didn’t want to talk, maybe even have anything to do with him. He glanced back, saw the twins and Angelina watch them from a safe distance who gave him only thumbs up with a big grin on their faces. No, walking away wouldn’t change anything and it would definitely not make things better or easier for him. So he turned back, watching the Slytherins fly in the sky, trying their best to get on the team.

“Are you going to watch the games then?”, he finally asked, trying not to look at her, keeping his eyes in the sky. But he could see that she looked at him from the corner of his eye. He knew that she was never present at any of the games in the prior years, but seeing that Jimin did so well, he felt it was only natural to ask if she would come. Maybe he could even impress her sometimes, he thought, suppressing the thought that came straight afterwards: even if she hated Quidditch. 

Her thoughts run wild. All the time while she knew Jim would try for the team, she never thought about what would come after. What would happen if he made it. All this time she had hoped for him to succeed, but now she wasn’t so sure anymore. Her eyes were on the towers, on the seats all up in the air, even before she could stop herself from looking. The fear from earlier that made it hard to breath came back and she had to take a deep breath to keep herself from panicking. 

It was only when he dared to look at her that he realised what he had done. He didn’t think of anything when he asked, but now he saw the fear written all over her face again and he regretted ever talking to her in the first place. He contemplated if there was anything he could say to take it back or at least make it better, when she turned to him, looked into his eyes and made his heart stop for a second. “I guess so.” she mumbled, more to herself than to him, it seemed and all he could do was nod. 

His heart heavy from the damage he just did, the damage he could so clearly see. He couldn’t even begin to feel happy that she would watch him play. The thought of impressing her seemed so irrelevant now that he hated himself for even thinking about it. He cleared his throat and took a step back. “I’ll better get back to-” She nodded before he could even finish his sentence, already turning back to the field. Not watching her friend anymore, but staring at the grass instead. 

“Right.” Now it was him mumbling, before leaving, cursing himself. 


	3. Almost

“I did it.” 

It was that sentence that spooked inside of her head since she heard it a few hours ago. Jimin landed not two meters in front of her, hurling her out of her thoughts and worries when he screamed her name. Her head snapped up and she was greeted with a running Jimin, green cloak flying in the wind and the biggest smile on his face. Something that should make her happy and proud. But it made her heart sank to her boots. He had greeted her with the good news, his good news, and almost ran her over with excitement. 

He had just properly arrived, when someone from the field called out to him. He looked at her, with the same sheepish look from earlier, something he always did when he tried to say sorry. “We’re gonna celebrate a bit. I’ll see you later.” He gave her one last, short hug, before he was off again. Before she had even said a word. She let herself fall back, landing back on the bench she spent this entire time, staring after him. 

She sighed, not really knowing what she had expected in the first place. She was happy for him, and she could feel the proudness tuck in her chest, buried under all the fear and uncertainty. When she was honest with herself, she was surprised that it took him so long, but he probably felt responsible for her, that’s why. She looked into the sky, all grey, not sure if it should rain or not, much like she felt herself. All this time waiting for the tryouts to be over, she was looking forward to go inside and warm up, but now she didn’t feel like that at all. She picked herself up from the bench nonetheless, leaving the field before the Gryffindors would start themselves, making her way to one of the many places in Hogwarts where she felt at ease the most: the greenhouses. 

Ever since the first day, she had kept to herself. Even though Jimin got sorted into Slytherin while she was in Hufflepuff, he stayed at her side like he promised he would when they were seven years old. He got to know other people and when they weren’t together, he had his own little group of friends. He tried to integrate her into said group, but she declined every time and so he gave up. She had her reasons to stay away from people. A reason her best friend could understand at least to some degree. Of course he had his own thoughts on this matter and she knew he had, but she stayed away from conversations like that as much as she would stay away from people that tried to get to know her.

But even when the classes took as long as they did and she had to hand in homework, she still found herself with free time afterwards. In the first year, she started reading a lot, but she only could lose herself in so many books before she grew tired of it. Her helping Professor Sprout in the greenhouses sort of happened on it’s own. After she realized that wasn’t time consuming enough, she turned up in the hospital wing one day, asking Madame Pomfrey for permission to be of help and she agreed. And it was in the third year, when she chose Care of Magical Creatures as one of her electives and she fell in love with the company they brought her, that she asked her Professor if she could give him a hand once or twice a week as well. 

But now, as she found herself in one of the greenhouses, for the first time, they didn’t give her the comfort a hug would may be able to. Or some real advice. She let out a desperate sigh as she let herself glide to the floor, back on a shelve. Pulling her knees in and hugging them, resting her chin on top, she stared into nothingness again, letting her thoughts roam. 

It seemed that this year she had even more time to spare on her own since Jimin had his Quidditch trainings now. She felt the loneliness tuck on her heart a bit, but she just pulled her feet closer and shoved the feeling aside. Telling herself it was better this way helped a little, remembering how it could hurt helped more. For a moment, she could feel herself getting disappointed in her best friend. But it only lingered there for a second, before she pushed that away as well. It was her own decision to stay on her own and it wasn’t his responsibility to take care of her. It wouldn’t be fair and it always made her smile to see him happy, no matter what. Even now, him grinning from ear to ear could pull the corner of her lip upwards. 

_ Are you going to watch the games then?  _

She could handle the loneliness that she didn’t even admit to herself. But she couldn’t handle the fear. The fear of all the stairs she had to climb to get up to the seats, where she had to sit through the whole game. Her throat tied up again, making it hard to swallow, making it even harder to think. But she had to think of something, had to come up with a plan, so she took a deep breath, blinking the tears away that had tried to escape. Her cold fingers gripped the edge of the shelf she was leaning on, gripping on it, she picked herself up. Dusting down her bottoms, she took one more deep breath. 

“Is everything alright, my dear?” It was Professor Sprout that scared the living hell out of her. With a whirl she spinned around, but the calm face of her opposite seemed to calm her down as well, a small smile appearing on her face all on its own. 

“Yes, of course.” There was a little silent break, as if her teacher was waiting for her to continue, so she did. “I just found myself in a little dilemma.” She wasn’t really keen on telling her Professor the whole story, but she knew she wouldn’t get away without telling her at least a bit. It wasn’t the first time the two of them had this kind of conversation. Professor Sprouts expression didn’t falter for a second, her grind just got a little bigger as she grabbed a few tools from the entrance. 

“A dilemma is only a real dilemma if you don’t know where to find help.” And with that, she was already out of the greenhouse again. 

The Hufflepuff found herself staring after her teacher for quite a while, before she had the heart to admit it to herself. This time, she needed help. Help from someone that wasn’t Jimin. Help to fight her fear of heights so that she could watch her best friend play a game he didn’t dare to play because he was too afraid of how she would react. She was tired of holding him back. And even if she still didn’t want to admit it, maybe she got tired of holding herself back as well. 

It always was the same pair of brown eyes looking at her in her memories. The same kind of bushy eyebrows and the short light brown hair and that smile that seemed sweet and smug at the same time. She groaned in her mind. Did she really just think that? He was just annoying. Everything about him was. Nevertheless it was always his face that popped up everytime she tried to think of someone that could help her out. 

Her eyes wandered up from the book she pretended to read and they flew across the room. Landed on Oliver Wood, sitting with his friends, grinning about something someone said. At least so she assumed. She shook her head a bit without noticing and looked back down. She couldn’t. No way possible she would ask  _ him _ . Besides, he wouldn’t have time anyway. With Quidditch on his mind he probably struggled to get through his classes, so there would be no way he could spare more time just to help her with her stupid fear. Unless that was her chance to get him to help her. She could help him out with studying and his homework and in exchange, he could teach her not to be afraid of anymore. 

Just as this idea setting in and making itself a nest in her brain, movement on the Gryffindor table let her look up again. To her surprise, it was actually him who got up, alone, and made his way to the entrance. This could be her chance to catch him alone, ask him if he would help her. She ignored the pressing thought that she wasn’t even sure that he actually could support her, but at the moment it seemed worth a shot more than anything else she could do. She grabbed her book and her bag and stood up, before she could talk herself out of it and made her way out of the Great Hall herself. 

When she left it, he was already way down the corridor. It's now or never. That was her only thought when she took a deep breath before she made herself storming after him. As she came closer, doubts started to pop up in her mind again and she could feel herself slowing down. Thoughts of the kids laughing at her in the first year. Him making fun of her now, telling her that she was a hopeless cause and no one could help her. And she stopped. Her eyes fixed on the back of his head, still walking away. How could someone that loved flying so much even begin to understand her fear? 


	4. Help

The memory of this morning fought its way through all the doubts. Memories of his kind face, helping her out when no one else was around. Him bringing her a blanket when he definitely had his head on the Quidditch tryouts. Memories of the first year. She shook her head to get rid of all the worries and fear that tried to hold her back once again. As much as she found him annoying, he was kind. And even if he would turn her down, he wouldn’t make fun of her, so she did it before she could think her way out of it again.   
“Wood!”  
Her voice echoed through the corridor and as he turned around, she started walking again. She could still feel the worries sitting deep in her bones, but she moved nonetheless.  
His surprise and confusion was written all over his face. When he heard his name, his first thought that he may have started imagining things, but when he did turn around and saw it was actually her that called him and was now walking towards him, he couldn’t really believe it. The joy that overflowed him actually won over the fear of embarrassing himself in front of her and so for the first time this year he felt at least kind of calm in her presence.   
Her feet got faster again, now that he stood there, waiting for her. For a second she cursed herself for just bashing into this idea. She definitely hadn’t thought it through and she had no idea at all what she actually wanted to say. But yet again she told herself that the more she would have thought about it, the worse it would have gotten. She just had to take it from here, wing it somehow, but when she stood in front of him and had to look up, all she could think of how annoyingly tall he was.   
“What’s up?”   
His scottish accent lingered in the corridor for a few seconds more in which she tried to sort her thoughts, but there was no use. Now that she actually had to ask him for help she felt the nervousness creeping up again. She grabbed one of her pitch black strands of hair and started playing with it, avoiding his face as much as she could.   
“I wanted to ask you if you could help me.” Her voice was low, almost mumbling it to herself. But the hall was so silent, she was sure he heard her, even though she couldn’t tell for sure. Her eyes were on the floor, staring at their shoes. For a short second she wondered how much bigger his feet were but the distraction didn’t last very long.   
Oliver himself on the other hand stared at her face. To say he was puzzled with what was going on was an understatement. Was she actually asking for help? She never asked anybody for help, as far as he knew, she kept to herself most of the time and seemed pretty content with that. With what did she need help that she would come to him of all people? His brown eyes mustered her from under his furrowed brows before he actually asked: “With what exactly?”   
She shifted her weight back and forth, curling her hair around her finger. Slowly but surely her eyes wandered up again until she looked into his, not even realizing she was chewing on her lower lip. “With..” she started, looking away again. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to see his reaction. She also wasn’t sure how to say it. How to bring it over her lips. The Gryffindor just stood there, silently, watching her every move. He was curious about what it was that she wanted from him, but he also appreciated the time that he could watch her closely.   
“I wondered if you could help me get over, well, my fear. My fear of heights.”   
The last sentence was again just a whisper. Her eyes went back up again, searching his face for a reaction. In her mind he was already laughing at her, but in reality he just looked at her a little surprised. He didn’t really know what he expected, but it was definitely not that. The green eyes that looked at him seemed to spark with a little hope and he felt something tuck at his heart as he realized he had no idea if he could do what she asked him to.   
She could see him thinking, almost as if she could read his thoughts displayed at his face and so she started pleading before she even realized it: “Please. I could help you with homework and studying in return, if you want to. Anything, but please help me.”   
It was already said and she wanted the floor to open up and swallow her right now. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she would actually beg someone for help. Especially not him. But here she was, gripping her book hard with both her hands, pressing it to her chest to give her something to hold on. Wood could feel his face getting hot as she stared up to him, full of hope and maybe a little bit of desperation. He knew his heart had already decided to help her, even though his head screamed at him that he had no idea how. But there was something he had to know first: “Why me?”   
This question through her off guard. Why Oliver Wood? It was a good question. Something she had asked herself the whole afternoon whenever his face popped up in her thoughts. She pressed her lips together, trying to think of something to tell him. But telling something that you aren’t sure of yourself was a hard thing to do. And she surely wouldn’t admit that his face just appeared in her thoughts the whole day. “Well, you helped me out this morning.” she started and she could see his brow wander up. She knew that wasn’t the reason, so she sighed. “Do you remember our first flight lesson?”   
He nodded, so she took a deep breath before continuing. She wasn’t very fond of the memory. “When I was too afraid to sit on my broom, everybody started laughing. Well, not everybody did, you were one of those that didn’t.”  
She remembered very vividly that her whole body was shaking, her grip on the broom so hard that her knuckles turned white. Her throat was dry and croaky, so all she did in response to Madam Hooch's prompt to finally sit on the broom was shaking her head. She remembered that her hair was only chin length and it flew around her, some nasty strands sticking to her wet cheeks from crying. She still tried to hold back the tears as they burned in her eyes, making her vision blurry, but they just kept running down. Her lips pressed together to keep herself from making any sounds, it felt like the only thing she somehow managed to do while she heard laughter and whispers all around her.   
She knew Jimin wasn’t laughing. And she could hear that a few others weren’t laughing as well, but with tears in her eyes, she couldn't possible make out who it was, additionally she didn’t even want to look around. All she could do was stare on the grass at her feet, shaking her head all over again. And then she heard rumbling, a few kids whispering before she could see a blur fly by. Right in between her and Madame Hooch. For a second, she forgot everything that just happened and starred after what turned out to be a Gryffindor on his broom, flying even though they were strictly forbidden to fly until told otherwise. She wiped the tears away and for a second she could see a boy grinning back down from his broom, brown hair and brown eyes full of life and joy. He looked right at her. His eyes flew back to the castle for a second, before meeting hers again, then he was already distracted by Madame Hooch. For a second longer, she watched him fly away, before she let her broom fall and started running as fast as she could, back to the castle.   
“And you also saved me back then as well.” At least that’s what happened in her mind. She never knew if he did it on purpose, to help her out, or if he just wanted to finally fly and was sick of waiting. Either way, she was very glad he did. Oliver remembered that of course, but he never thought anything of it. Of course he wanted to help out the girl crying out of fear, but that was it. In hindsight it was only obvious she remembered that, but it never crossed his mind that she would.   
She was looking up at him again, grabbing her book harder again, a little red shade spread over her face. The memory itself was embarrassing enough, but reliving it in front of him topped it off. But she still needed help, still needed an answer: “So? Will you?”   
His hand wandered up to the back of his head, scratching it. He couldn’t say no, not if anyone was asking for help, especially not her. Her emerald eyes looking up to him made his heart flutter all over again and he couldn’t resist smiling. “I mean I can try, but I-” He was cut off when he saw the relief wash over her face, a little bit of hope sparkling in her eyes. The thought of telling her that he had absolutely no idea how slipped his mind, instead he trailed off. “I’ll see what I can do. But I can’t promise anything.” 


End file.
